My thoughts on love, life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness...and Harry Potter.
“Because the purpose of feminism isn’t to make a particular type of woman. The idea that there are inherently wrong and inherently right “types” of women is what’s screwed feminism for so long — this belief that “we” wouldn’t accept slaggy birds, dim birds, birds that bitch, birds that hire cleaners, birds that stay at home with their kids, birds that have pink Mini Metros with POWERED BY FAIRY DUST! bumper stickers, birds in burkas or birds that like to pretend, in their heads, that they’re married to Zach Braff from Scrubs and that you sometimes have sex in an ambulance while the rest of the cast watch and, latterly, clap. You know what? Feminism will have all of you.
What is feminism? Simply the belief that women should be as free as men, however nuts, dim, deluded, badly dressed, fat, receding, lazy and smug they might be.
Are you a feminist? Hahaha. Of course you are.”
A List of “Men’s Rights” Issues That Feminism Is Already Working On
Feminists do not want you to lose custody of your children. The assumption that women are naturally better caregivers is part of patriarchy.
Feminists do not like commercials in which bumbling dads mess up the laundry and competent wives have to bustle in and fix it. The assumption that women are naturally better housekeepers is part of patriarchy.
Feminists do not want you to have to make alimony payments. Alimony is set up to combat the fact that women have been historically expected to prioritize domestic duties over professional goals, thus minimizing their earning potential if their “traditional” marriages end. The assumption that wives should make babies instead of money is part of patriarchy.
Feminists do not want anyone to get raped in prison. Permissiveness and jokes about prison rape are part of rape culture, which is part of patriarchy.
Feminists do not want anyone to be falsely accused of rape. False rape accusations discredit rape victims, which reinforces rape culture, which is part of patriarchy.
Feminists do not want you to be lonely and we do not hate “nice guys.” The idea that certain people are inherently more valuable than other people because of superficial physical attributes is part of patriarchy.
Feminists do not want you to have to pay for dinner. We want the opportunity to achieve financial success on par with men in any field we choose (and are qualified for), and the fact that we currently don’t is part of patriarchy. The idea that men should coddle and provide for women, and/or purchase their affections in romantic contexts, is condescending and damaging and part of patriarchy.
Feminists do not want you to be maimed or killed in industrial accidents, or toil in coal mines while we do cushy secretarial work and various yarn-themed activities. The fact that women have long been shut out of dangerous industrial jobs (by men, by the way) is part of patriarchy.
Feminists do not want you to commit suicide. Any pressures and expectations that lower the quality of life of any gender are part of patriarchy. The fact that depression is characterized as an effeminate weakness, making men less likely to seek treatment, is part of patriarchy.
Feminists do not want you to be viewed with suspicion when you take your child to the park (men frequently insist that this is a serious issue, so I will take them at their word). The assumption that men are insatiable sexual animals, combined with the idea that it’s unnatural for men to care for children, is part of patriarchy.
Feminists do not want you to be drafted and then die in a war while we stay home and iron stuff. The idea that women are too weak to fight or too delicate to function in a military setting is part of patriarchy.
Feminists do not want women to escape prosecution on legitimate domestic violence charges, nor do we want men to be ridiculed for being raped or abused. The idea that women are naturally gentle and compliant and that victimhood is inherently feminine is part of patriarchy.
Feminists hate patriarchy. We do not hate you.
Studies show that women apologize more than men, often for perfectly reasonable acts like, you know, taking up space.
THAT LAST ONE THOUGH
always weird when stuff like this is for a product, like am I buying empowerment? But if I had to choose, rather see this than some of the alternatives. A positive message like this is one I can stomach!
People have offered many potential explanations for this discrepancy, but this ad highlights the importance of the social cues that push girls away from math and science in their earliest childhood years.
Just my favorite joke of all time.
We have GOT to stop tearing down other women.
Posts comparing a plus sized woman to a juicy steak, which is obviously preferable to a stalk of celery (ie thinner woman) - cut it out.
Slut shaming pictures of women in bathings suits, shorts, high heels, skirts, dresses, or low cut tops - quit it.
Memes about what makes a woman classy vs. trashy…knock it off.
Insisting that a woman keep her body out of your man’s face? Just stop.
I am not guiltless in this - I have certainly flippantly commented on other women’s physical appearance as if it had relevance to me…I have used unkind words and called names and made it my business to decide who should be wearing what depending on the curve of their tummy or the size of their butt.
But I am shutting that shit down, and here’s why you should join me.
1. Shaming, demonizing or putting down another woman is not beneficial to you.
You do not need to chastise someone else in order to feel good about yourself. You are beautiful. You are a unique color, shape & size and a voracious blend of one of a kind humor, intelligence, kindness, and LOVE, and someone else’s combination of all these things has no bearing on that.
2. Women’s bodies to do not exist simply to be pleasurable.
To men, to other woman, or to the outside world at all. Women’s bodies and minds and hair and makeup and clothes and shoes and jokes and laughs and hand gestures and burps are THEIRS and ONLY theirs to pass judgement on.
3. Women are not steaks.
Women are not classic cars or pigs with lipstick. Women are not metaphors or similes to be defined, categorized, and compared.
4. Women are not a result of their diet & exercise regime.
Women are not a product of their career goals, marital status or parental aspirations - WOMEN ARE WHATEVER THEY CHOOSE TO BE.
5. Other women are not here to steal your man.
If you seriously think that all that stands between you and your boyfriend or husband is his potential physical attraction to another woman, or the only thing keeping him faithful is a lack of other options - there are some other posts you should be reading. Also, please read number 2 again for good measure.
If you’ve made it this far, I know a lot of you are cheering, because I read your posts on Facebook and Twitter and Instagram about female empowerment and overarching messages about spreading love & encouragement to each other - thank you.
But I know there are lots of sighs & rolled eyes too - “Jeeze, its just a silly picture, who cares?” or “Why is it okay for the media to glorify & objectify a certain body type, but not okay for me to respond?”…
To you I say - I get it. Existing in a world where only a specific set of physical characteristics are deemed desirable is frustrating. Being single or trying to date when you don’t look like the typical ‘hot chick’ is discouraging. Quotes & pictures & memes that challenge the status quo of beauty are refreshing, and the desire to celebrate the ways in which your body is different, unique, and decidedly you is wonderful.
But not at the expense of other women.
So, next time you want to post a picture comparing Miley Cyrus to Taylor Swift, a Size 2 to a Size 22, or a CEO to a Stay at Home Mom - remember that neither of them is better than the other, and none of them have anything to do with you.
Your Body. Your Rules.